My Bathroom Wall (dedicated to Jenny-cause she gets it)

It's funny the things that you unexpectantly find yourself grieving over during a move. My anticipation and curiosity is growing daily about what life will be like in our new town...what interesting people and vignets and discussions we will be introduced to; what tables we will eat around; what musicians we will play with; what places and nooks we will find that give us respite and comfort etc.

But I have come upon a little bit of letting go this morning.
A grief and a farewell to-my beloved bathroom wall. Because our house has always been in flux in Cranbrook, the bathroom wall became the first real place of recognition of this, when we bought the house almost 9 years ago.
Home base, Ground Zero. The Bathroom Wall was in touch with all the things that were REALLY going one.

We have doodled and drawn, glued, tacked and taped it full of whatever we felt like. Whatever inspired us. The words on this wall have been a bit of a Hepher Family Journal. Here's what the walls saw:

-a few negative and ALAS, at long last-a positive pregnancy test, many sleepless nights of breastfeeding Finn (there is a whole section of doodling in one corner from that time), and some post partum blues.

The walls saw many, many private tears (stressed out Christmas eve tears, Happy Tears, Fighting tears, Goodbye tears, bad news tears, good news tears. You see the trend.. I am a weeper.) It also saw the "getting ready for a gig" scenario-with a glass of wine, a clothing crisis and a new discovery of make up. It survived quite a few nasty cloth diaper episodes and potty training kids (not at all my favourite season). I definately looked to inspiration of "the Wall" in those times. It felt oodles of bubbles and water splashed about in countless kids baths; running and laughing and getting in pyjamas for bedtime. Time-outs (mine or otherwise the younger crowd). It sees all manner of Mike and my conversations, that don't end, just because someone has to use the toilet(!) and many hours of quiet contemplation reading a good magazine or book, it has served as a little reprieve from the usual haze of crazy life with young kids.

The Toilet Retreat Center :)
A place to breath and BE yourself..although sometimes, you have you to hold your breath to escape it. Ahhhhh.

Today we are breaking it down, to replace it with the long awaited NEW drywall, new life that it deserves. This wall will be pretty yet lacking in character and history. I supposed someone new will make history for this wall, for now. But I will miss my old wall. All that it held for me. It has seen me through some pretty rough spots.

In the meantime, I have picked off a few of my favourite quotes from ths wall to post here, and I will hope that we will find an outlet to keep this journalling up. Maybe a corkboard..or something a little less permanent as we go from owning to renting!!

If you have ever spent anytime in my MASSIVE and beloved bathroom-join me as I propose a toast:Here's to you, dear bathroom walls, you have served us well and beyond the call of duty!

Quotes we will miss seeing:

If you're bored, its cause your boring

Be a part of the good things HAPPENING in your backyard

I support all people on earth who have bodies like and unlike my body-N.S. Nye

WE must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us -Joseph Campbell

Babies and German engineering. My two favourite miracles. (Volkswagon ad)

How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.
W. Shakespeare

Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all, because the mind is never new, fresh, innocent.
-Krishnamurti, Spiritual teacher

I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to.

The world is full of healing, if you know where to find it.

I said to the Sufi Master "I'm looking for God". And he said "I'm so sorry you came all this way; She's been with you on the whole journey"

And this is why we are not answering the phones...

So...
This week we are kid free. (Many Thanks to My sister Moni and my Bro in law Richard!!!!)

kid-free with a mission, that is.
we are gutting the kids room and bathroom so it will be all tickety boo for our renters in July!
Here's what we got done today !

Here was Mike's Day:


Not to be outdone....Here is my stack of packings!

Mothers Day-in like lamb, out like a lion

Loverly indeed was my mocha in bed and flood of homemade cards..with awesome kid-scrawl (one which said "Dear Mama, I hope you get out of bed"!

And then also fab was the gift I got from Mikey (a super cool hipflask with a bike on it), and a late breakie at our local coffee shop.

Grown-ups read the local newspapers, kids played with mismatched puzzle pieces and toy bits offered there while loudly condoning the m&m's that came atop their hot chocolate!

Then the real business of Mother's Day began......we planted a "flaming maple" in the front yard.




Mike and kids made a planter which is now the cradle of sunflower and lavender seeds


We weeded, kids got in their swim suits and had some fun in the Sprinkler.
And then it got quiet.
Kids went inside to change out of their wet suits, Mike and I relaxed at our cathartic outdoor garden cleansing rituals in the Spring sun...



Silence broken as the key word "PERMAMENT PEN" was wailed out by a concerned older brother.




Seems Wren has a need for more order (of a permanent kind) and labeled all manners of things in the house with said pen. Things that belonged to her, and her brother, and to me (my sewing room had a big "mama" on the door.

I should be honored.

most of it came off...
what's childhood without this event, really?
the Common Permament Marker Event.

anyways I am still kind of chortling.
Happy Mother's Day.
Especially to the happy memories of my Mama, "Little Bear".
I think she would have laughed too....

A Marriage of 2 of my favourite things

2 things I will not tire of: my favourite guitar (our 1965 sunburst gibson) and my new fave bike.
Pictured here together as I made my way up to the school on the Hill in Crabrook to play for a Preschool Fair. Long hill. Thnkful for my mug of PERFECT Easter Egg Mocha that Mike concocted for me before my departure (as seen in my mug holder in pic)

Well, Fernie seems to be coming closer into our life all the time..funny how that happens when you embark on a new adventure, or become interested in a new hobby or subject-suddenly the world is AFLAME with it! I am meeting so many present or past Fernie residents, all asking questions and telling stories about life in Fernie. Tomorrow we are off to take a peak at the Elementary school, as Mike is having his first ever Gallery Opening (Wine and Cheese) at the Arts Station in Fernie, and we are excited to see how it goes!!

I want to take the kids for a walk along the river tomorrow, maybe I should find out what it is called first :) Then hit the Fernie Library. Feeling like an explorer...

Nuggets

I have just spent a wonderful day in a workshop our in town with Gordon Neufeld speaking on the issue of "Holding on to your Kids".
Talk about heartening!

He spoke to the power of attachment-when we have it, we truly are able to grow into our full potential-when we parent with it-we pass on this legacy like a gardener that tend her field by ensuring the conditions are prime for growth and maturity.
I was thinking about this lately from a school child's perspective. My own, that is.
I remember how the teachers who connected with me, who found a way of treasuring me and holding my presence with respect and kindness-how they actually changed my life. I imitated them. I internalized their instructions. I hung on to their praise. They fed my curiosity. I truly learned what they were teaching me-because they cared for me. I followed them with my heart even years outside their classroom. It wasn't a matter of their technique or teaching prowes, it was their ability to create an attachment that had me wanting to please and grow and gain maturity.
There was only a handful of those teachers in my school career... Miss Ferris, Mrs Renton-Rose, Mrs MacPherson, Mr Lenz, Mrs B. I am so grateful for their belief in me and my "ness".

In this last decade, I have been given 2 creative, lively and unsatiably curious creatures to nurture and protect in the same way. And suddenly, once again rekindled, I am thrilled to the challenge of this.

Have Tent..will settle

It has been shockingly snowy these days. Even my Supper Strongbow Fortifyer doesnt seem to dull the gloom that I feel when I look outside most eves this week and see a snowly whiteout.

Not shockingly, however, the kids seem to take everything with the secret smile of childhood. its like they have no expectations that the world need behave in a certain way because of something as flippant as, say, the name of a month or a season. They take what is before them and create it into something worthwhile, and almost always-highly evolved and enjoyable.

As I was sewing up a frenzy again this week, the two offspring got busy playing.... Not deterred by being stuck indoors due to regular and frantic snow freakouts...here is what they did:


set up camp in the one available space...our only bathroom. Complete with a suitcase full of food, and of course, only a hop skip and jump from both "the river" and "the outhouse".

Ahhh, we grumpy grown ups have much to be taught in the realm of lemons and lemonaid.

April Fool-and a radish for a Spring

Well, I have been so excited about the Spring coming and was quite frustrated (along with the rest of southern Aberta) at the unbelievable snowstorm that came our way for April Fools Day.

Alas-I had my heart set on Spring, and was not to be deterred from from what I am calling my "midlife crisis". Since hitting my 40th year almost a month ago, I have been drinking deep from the cup of contmplation, and one of the things that I have really wanted to act on was my desire to be more car-free. My last gas-up at the pump had my heart racing and thought-ok, we NEED to make a change here.

Long Story Short-let me introduce you to my Radish (which came home on top of the car from Calgary yesterday):

Finn, Wren, Banjo and I ALL fit!!!

My dandy little Radish (whom I think I might start calling "reddish") and I took the kids and dog to school this morning-and only dumped in the snow once...in very slow motion. I did a quick stop to the grocery store for apples and milk as well and I am so very excited about this glorious way of 3-season travel. Less money spent on gas, less emissions for our planet (as long as sweat is a safe emission, that is), more money for gin and tonics and limes..when the Spring sunshine comes on the patio.

win-win-win.