Tuesday, May 17, 2011
My Bathroom Wall (dedicated to Jenny-cause she gets it)
It's funny the things that you unexpectantly find yourself grieving over during a move. My anticipation and curiosity is growing daily about what life will be like in our new town...what interesting people and vignets and discussions we will be introduced to; what tables we will eat around; what musicians we will play with; what places and nooks we will find that give us respite and comfort etc.
But I have come upon a little bit of letting go this morning.
A grief and a farewell to-my beloved bathroom wall. Because our house has always been in flux in Cranbrook, the bathroom wall became the first real place of recognition of this, when we bought the house almost 9 years ago.
Home base, Ground Zero. The Bathroom Wall was in touch with all the things that were REALLY going one.
We have doodled and drawn, glued, tacked and taped it full of whatever we felt like. Whatever inspired us. The words on this wall have been a bit of a Hepher Family Journal. Here's what the walls saw:
-a few negative and ALAS, at long last-a positive pregnancy test, many sleepless nights of breastfeeding Finn (there is a whole section of doodling in one corner from that time), and some post partum blues.
The walls saw many, many private tears (stressed out Christmas eve tears, Happy Tears, Fighting tears, Goodbye tears, bad news tears, good news tears. You see the trend.. I am a weeper.) It also saw the "getting ready for a gig" scenario-with a glass of wine, a clothing crisis and a new discovery of make up. It survived quite a few nasty cloth diaper episodes and potty training kids (not at all my favourite season). I definately looked to inspiration of "the Wall" in those times. It felt oodles of bubbles and water splashed about in countless kids baths; running and laughing and getting in pyjamas for bedtime. Time-outs (mine or otherwise the younger crowd). It sees all manner of Mike and my conversations, that don't end, just because someone has to use the toilet(!) and many hours of quiet contemplation reading a good magazine or book, it has served as a little reprieve from the usual haze of crazy life with young kids.
The Toilet Retreat Center :)
A place to breath and BE yourself..although sometimes, you have you to hold your breath to escape it. Ahhhhh.
Today we are breaking it down, to replace it with the long awaited NEW drywall, new life that it deserves. This wall will be pretty yet lacking in character and history. I supposed someone new will make history for this wall, for now. But I will miss my old wall. All that it held for me. It has seen me through some pretty rough spots.
In the meantime, I have picked off a few of my favourite quotes from ths wall to post here, and I will hope that we will find an outlet to keep this journalling up. Maybe a corkboard..or something a little less permanent as we go from owning to renting!!
If you have ever spent anytime in my MASSIVE and beloved bathroom-join me as I propose a toast:Here's to you, dear bathroom walls, you have served us well and beyond the call of duty!
Quotes we will miss seeing:
If you're bored, its cause your boring
Be a part of the good things HAPPENING in your backyard
I support all people on earth who have bodies like and unlike my body-N.S. Nye
WE must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us -Joseph Campbell
Babies and German engineering. My two favourite miracles. (Volkswagon ad)
How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.
Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all, because the mind is never new, fresh, innocent.
-Krishnamurti, Spiritual teacher
I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to.
The world is full of healing, if you know where to find it.
I said to the Sufi Master "I'm looking for God". And he said "I'm so sorry you came all this way; She's been with you on the whole journey"